Biographies: Buff 'n' Blow

Do you like asparagus?
on occasion

Did you ever stab someone or cut them intentionally with a sharp object?
no, not ever. I take out my anger on pre-set objects to destroy (usually).

Do cats frustrate you as pets or do you admire their independence?
I admire their independence, but oftentime feel shafted by their disregard for me.

Do you look more like your mother or father?
I don't think I look like either of them, really. I'm one of those people that looks nothing like their parents but somehow looks like a perfect mix of the two.

Have you ever dated an older woman, and if so what did she teach you?
She wasn't that much older.. only a year. And she taught me that some people don't know how to handle themselves once a relationship is given a name.

Did you go to sleep-away summer camp?
No, never. I lived vicariously through "Salute Your Shorts."

Haha.  What's the first image you have of the female body?
I must've been three or four years old. I was looking at a billboard... there was a woman in a bikini on it. I think it was a cigarrette ad.

Do you like roller coasters?
Yeah, they're alright.

Did you ever own Birkenstocks?
I'm... not... sure

are you lying?
no. I never pay attention to what shoes I have or wear. It usually, actually, gets to the point where I only get shoes because my folks are complaining so much that the shoes I have are too old and fucked up that they just buy shoes for me.

What was your favorite expression growing up, or what was it closer to... “That's so fresh.” “That's so bitchin'.” "That's so wicked.” “That's so rad.” Or, “that's so hot.”
I used to say that things were a "cynch." I don't know if that's how you spell it, though. “sinch?” where the fuck did that word come from, anyway?

What's the name of Sylvia's cat ?
Brooky?

no. Did the female anatomy ever mystify and scare you?
Oh, it constantly mystifies me. Did it ever scare me? Once... my sister had told me that there was thing thing called "vaginal dentada" once when I was a kid -- teeth in a woman's vagina that can bite really hard. I was pretty scared when she told me, but she soon after revealed that she was lying.

Oh my god, that’s so funny!
yeah. she was in college, and I was in fourth grade or so, so I had to believe her. Apparently, it's what people used to tell little boys in the old days so that they wouldn't try to fuck their sisters.

Did you ever fall in love with an animal in a way where you wished you could talk, like be human friends?
Fall in love? no. But that doesn't curb my interest in speaking with them.

why havent you fallen in love with an animal?
Well, some people just aren't conditiononed to falling in love with animals.

Do you feel that we are all potentially Christlike?
Christlike? Sure, why the hell not?

What do you like better, dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
Milk chocolate. I'm lactose tolerant.

Do you have hope for humanity? And if not, how can you honestly keep on going in the face of that hopelessness?
I don't have much hope for humanity as a whole, no. But I can honestly keep on going because I have hope for myself and hope for the people that I'll have to come into constant and direct contact with for the rest of my life. Everyone has to deal with assholes, it's a part of life. And if the rate of assholes on this earth increases exponentially, so be it. I'll at least try not to be one, and that's good enough for me (or so I hope).

What's your favorite flavor of chapstick?
The more minty ones.

Have you ever lost your mind?
Everyone does every now and again.

Is there anybody you can honestly say you idolize?
No. Idolize is such a total word.. there's no one person I wish I could be 100 percent.

Is there any one thing you're particularly ashamed of that you have done in your life?
Oh, there are many. Anyone who says they don't have any is lying.

gimme an example
Alright. Once, when I was a kid, I was on this playground, spinning around on one of those tire swings, you know? I was standing up in it and spinning really fast and these other kids came over 'cause they wanted to ride it, too. But instead of letting them, I stuck my foot out and it ended up smacking into the side of this one girl's head, who ran off crying in pain. Instead of running after her, apologizing, I jumped off the tire and said, "well, you guys shouldn't have stood so close!" that's pretty shameful.

thats so cute
hahahaha.. cute?? it's bratty.

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